


Sherlock's First Try at Feeling

by shxrlock_holmes



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, First Kiss, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:46:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22431307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shxrlock_holmes/pseuds/shxrlock_holmes
Summary: Sherlock is behaving quite weirdly recently and John is worried about his friend.
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Comments: 4
Kudos: 69





	Sherlock's First Try at Feeling

John realized Sherlock wasn't behaving normally recently. It's been a little bit more than a month since their last case and Sherlock should be walking around the flat all day saying he's bored every five seconds, but he's actually very calm and only talks if John starts the conversation, but doesn't really show any interest in conversations. John would think he's looking quite sad, but when the subject is Sherlock Holmes you can never be sure of anything.

It is a very cold and snowy morning in London. John wakes up, puts his slippers on and goes downstairs in his pajamas to make himself a cup of tea. When he reaches the living room, he finds Sherlock all curled up in a blanket lying in the couch. He's not facing John, so all the doctor can see is a bunch of curls and he's not even sure if the detective is awake or not.

\- Sherlock? - He tries.

Sherlock hums.

\- Why are you lying in the couch? You should be in your bed.

The detective doesn't answer.

\- Sherlock, look at me - says the doctor, slightly poking Sherlock's shoulder, who slowly turns to face John, his eyes still blinking fast while his pupils adapt to the room's illumination. - Are you okay? I couldn't help but notice you've been quite quiet lately. _Disturbingly_ quiet.

\- How can I be disturbing if I'm quiet?

\- It's not your normal behavior. It bothers me since I care about you.

\- I'm okay, John. Nothing for you to worry about - the dedective responds in a sharp tone, while turning back at the couch, but is stopped by a gentle tug in his shoulder.

\- Come on, Sherlock. Tell me what all of that is about. Mrs. Hudson is also worried about you. She said that since you and I moved to 221B she's never experienced that much silence and tranquility as now.

\- Good for her, isn't it?

John takes a deep breath. Sherlock really knows how to be a dick when he wants to.

\- Okay, you win. I'll make myself a cup of tea, but after that you're gonna open up to me. Want some?

Sherlock shakes his head and John leaves the room, feeling a little bit impatient. He comes back in about ten minutes, with a cup in his hand, and finds his friend now sitting in the couch with his blanket still covering all of his body. Now that he can see the detective better, he looks totally exhausted, in a way he's never been before. To his surprise, the detective starts talking the moment the moment John sits in his chair.

\- I'm confused, John. And you know how much I hate not knowing stuff.

\- What are you confused about?

\- I... I'm not sure. I think I'm... _feeling_ \- Sherlock's disgust is explicit in his voice as he says that word. - You realize how absurd that is? Sentiment is a chemical defect found in the losing side. I don't wanna lose, John.

John can't believe in what he's listening and can't hold himself back from laughing.

\- Why are you laughing at me? Stop laughing - the detective says, clearly uncomfortable and furious. He does not understand how can his friend laugh at him in that situation.

John gets up from his chair and makes himself comfortable besides Sherlock in the couch.

\- Sherlock, you're in love, aren't you?

\- I didn't say that.

\- You didn't deny it, either.

Sherlock stops looking at John and starts looking down, and John is afraid the detective may be feeling ashamed of himself. Both of them stay silent for a short period of time, until John pulls Sherlock to a strong hug. 

\- There's nothing wrong about feeling, Sherlock. Trust me - says the doctor in a comforting tone that makes Sherlock get less tense and take his arms off the blanket to properly hug him back - Feeling is what makes you a human being. You should never deny the emotions inside you, or it's gonna corrupt you from inside - he says as he releases the detective from his hug, and they start to face each other again. - Now tell me. Who was the person capable of breaking into Sherlock Holmes' heart? - John grins. - I bet it was the Woman. Was it the Woman?

\- No, it wasn't the woman. - Sherlock starts looking down again. He can't handle looking at John's dark blue eyes at this point. - Not Molly, either.

\- So... who is it?

Sherlock keeps staring down, silent, and suddently a wave of shock flows through John's body. Could he... be in love with John? No, there's no way. But then why would he be acting like that?

\- Sherlock... - John says as he gently touches the detective's chin with his fingers, inducing him to stare back at him - are you... are you in love with me?

Sherlock hesitates, but he knows he can't dodge this question.

\- I... I think so, John - he says as he can feel his eyes getting watery, and starts speaking in a fast pace. - Please, I don't want this to affect our friendship in any way. I can get over this alone. Just act like this never happened and-

\- It's okay - John doesn't let Sherlock finish what he was saying, and bends his body a bit to give Sherlock's cheek a soft, friendly kiss and places one of his hands on his other cheek. - I must admit you caught me off guard by that, though - John chuckles and Sherlock grins slightly. - Jesus, Sherlock, relax a little bit, I can feel how tense you are just by looking at you. I'm not mad at you or anything. Actually... I think I may be attracted to you too.

Sherlock can't contain a smile and tears start rolling down his face. He's never felt as much relief and happiness as he does now. In this moment, he finally understood what love was all about. It is a game he did not choose to play, he was pushed into this foregn territory against his will, but he was grateful for that because now he was closer to the very person that he cares about the most in this world than he ever thought he would. He wanted to be in John's arms, feeling his body protecting him from the rest of the world. From the first moment they met he felt differently with the doctor than with any other person, but never really gave this feeling much attention. It was only recently, after living together for a long time and solving crimes and saving each other's lives together, that he noticed what was happening in his heart all along. He felt safe around John, and whenever the shorter guy complimented on his deducting or violin skills, Sherlock felt greater than ever. As if a fire was lightened inside him. He liked to make John proud of him and wanted to be sure they'd be like that forever.

John wasn't feeling any less emotional. He has had crushes when he was younger, but the war took those blissful feelings away from him. He felt numb and helpless after coming back to England, until he moved to this flat with this tall, extremely smart and quite handsome man who now shared the most precious memories of his life with him. He missed the thrill of the war and Sherlock was the only person in the whole world who was able to give it back to him, and for that he was extremely grateful. He didn't interpret this as love in the first moment, but after a short while he was perfectly aware of his feelings but never really exposed them to Sherlock. Why would he? Sherlock never showed any affection towards other people and doing that could probably ruin everything. But now, it didn't.

\- John... you're certainly more experienced in that than I am. What are we supposed to do now?

John leans foward, puts his hand behind Sherlock's neck and gently pulls him into a kiss. Sherlock kisses him back and puts one of his hands under John's thigh. He feels like he's floating. He wants to be like that forever, away from any danger, against the body of the person he loves the most in this world. Against the man he actually loves.

The doctor knew that the detective was absolutely unexperienced in the kissing department, but he must admit he was not as bad at it as he was expecting him to be. He wanted to hold Sherlock closer, to never let him get away from his arms. He finally felt complete.

It was Sherlock who broke the kiss.

\- John... would you mind going to my bedroom with me? I really couldn't sleep well this night and it's still really early in the morning. Maybe you could cuddle me to sleep?

The doctor smiles and realizes how gorgeous the man in front of him is. He wants him to lie in his chest, to shuffle his hands in his curls and caress him until he falls asleep. He can't imagine a better morning than this one.

\- Sure, but you look way too tired to walk - John says as he gets up from the couch and picks up his parter in his arms and brings him to his bedroom.

There, they will enjoy the rest of their morning together, the same way they will spend the rest of their lives.


End file.
